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Literature Text
Almost to the end
Before I ever saw the start,
Close to the heavens and yet I...
Didn't see any stars.
Each and every moment passed
Faster than falling sand,
Going under, grabbing onto...
His now distant, earthly hand.
I wish I would have realized
Just a while before death came
Knowing would have changed so much...
Leaving only me to blame.
Literature
.reconnaitre.
she dances with the wind, not understanding
any of my cares, and yet - she cares
for all of them. I tell her "I deserve better than this
old abyss again and again."
and I am tired enough for an entire forest, but
old pine, mother of wings, stands still and
nurtures many things (me being the smallest of them, only
a whisper of a girl), and in whispers I learn
how to nurture something
not fire or dark, something like roots
or strong rainstorms
or the slow patience, the unafraid confidence that lets her stand tall
and be touched by nothing but wind
and sunshine and all the good things,
none of them human, none of them harm.
one day, I will st
Literature
The Promise
You promised me, my love, you see, and I shall not forget.
We climbed the tower stairs as the bell solemnly chimed.
"If life forbids our love, then in death we shall wed."
You took my hand, we kissed our last, and off the edge we stepped.
But you let go, so I alone, plunged into the night.
But you promised me, my love, you see, and I shall not forget.
So I wait for you now, my love, for I know you must regret
Your eyes were flick'ring candles as you watched me die.
"If life forbids our love, then in death we shall wed."
You'll see me there again, some night, waiting by the tower steps.
You'll take my hand, I'll lead you up, up into the s
Literature
Sorrowbird
I watched him flap helplessly between the teeth of a barbwire fence, screeching for help.
"Papa, look Papa! A boy!"
My papa stood dazed for a moment, dust billowing at his legs, his eyes teetering along the field. It wasn't until later that evening he told me he hadn't understood what I had seen. What he had seen.
With grass tickling the backsides of my legs, I bounded toward the boy, "What are you doing? Are you okay?"
As I approached him, I felt his skittish eyes rake across my every movement. With his ten-year-old arms slung inside the gaping maw of a fence and darkened feathers pasted along the creases of his face; he looked squarely
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Comments19
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First off, I feel you've done an overall lovely job with the alphabet form in this - I didn't notice the pattern the first time I read through the piece, and I believe this means that you managed to both stick to the scheme and not make it seem unnatural at the same time. Personally I've never tried it, but I can imagine it to be quite challenging, so good job! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="60" title="Clap"/>
I really like the imagery in this, especially in the first stanza: "close to the heavens and yet I / didn't see any stars" is my favourite part of this poem. It gives off such a sense of hopelessness while at the same time conveying an 'almost there' feeling.
Now, I don't feel this needs a major overhaul or even anything remotely close to it, but there are some details which I personally feel could be changed to make it better. Feel free to use these suggestions as you see fit, please!
A personal pet peeve of mine is the use of the "..." within this. I don't appreciate it much in poetry and avoid using it myself, so this is entirely my personal standpoint, but I'd figure the use of hyphens would give the piece more tempo. Whenever three dots appear, I feel the poem suddenly stands still, since (to me) it gives off the impression that the narrator has run out of words to say.
In "his now unreachable, earthly hand" I feel the use of the word earthly is great, but there are synonyms of "unreachable" that would fit in much nicer beside it; I am particularly thinking of distant here, I just feel it would go better with the line: "his now distant, earthly hand".
That's all I have on this. Again, I love what you did with the form, it really turned out very nicely <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>