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Literature Text
I'm breathing under crystalline water,
being gently pushed and pulled with the tide.
I am a mermaid searching for a prince to give my voice.
I float and dance with the twisted sea grass.
Bright bioluminescence like stars below the cover of ocean
Until the eyes of a monster cross my path.
My surroundings morph into a murky, haunted scene.
My tail is replaced with shaking knees
and the chase begins.
being gently pushed and pulled with the tide.
I am a mermaid searching for a prince to give my voice.
I float and dance with the twisted sea grass.
Bright bioluminescence like stars below the cover of ocean
Until the eyes of a monster cross my path.
My surroundings morph into a murky, haunted scene.
My tail is replaced with shaking knees
and the chase begins.
Literature
The Fisherman And The Mermaid
Longing melodies,
About lost loves and the sea,
buried under waves.
Harmony rises,
Above the fog and sea foam,Together at last.
Literature
Mermaids
When she was five
she believed in mermaids
For 95% of the ocean
was undiscovered
So she went to school
and told her classmates
how she wanted to meet a mermaid
They laughed at her-
"Mermaids don't exist."
When she was ten
she watched those same kids
sit in wooden church pews
praying to God-
Proofless.
She laughed at them
for being hypocrites
Literature
Oceans
There are oceans that know
your name: they flow fierce and heavy
with the swell of grief.
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Featured in Groups
An Entry for TheWritingHaven's Poetry Contest- Ten Words.
The ten words I used are:
1.breathing
2.water
3.dance
4.twisted
5.bright
6.stars
7.monster
8.eyes
9.knees
10.chase
**These are italicized
Featured here! [link]
The ten words I used are:
1.breathing
2.water
3.dance
4.twisted
5.bright
6.stars
7.monster
8.eyes
9.knees
10.chase
**These are italicized
Featured here! [link]
© 2012 - 2024 prettyflour
Comments14
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Okay, I'm here! Sean from #We-Poets dropping by to critique this for you.
You did a great job writing a poem + telling a story with these words in such a short piece! Very cool!
First I'm breathing under crystalline water,
***You might consider deleting "First" as it usually infers a "Second" or "Next" is coming soon after.
I am a mermaid searching for a prince to give my voice.
***The prince is supposed to get the mermaid's voice? I don't get that part. Not that I have to haha but just FYI.
Until the eyes of a monster cross my path.
***You could edit "cross my path." to something else like "stare me down." or "stare my way."
My surroundings morph into a murky and haunted scene.
***Consider changing "murky and haunted" to "murky, haunted"
Those are all just my best attempts to give you any help/edits I can IF you're looking to update. If not, no problem. Really beautiful poem either way. Fun assignment too! I should try one of these sometime!
--Sean
You did a great job writing a poem + telling a story with these words in such a short piece! Very cool!
First I'm breathing under crystalline water,
***You might consider deleting "First" as it usually infers a "Second" or "Next" is coming soon after.
I am a mermaid searching for a prince to give my voice.
***The prince is supposed to get the mermaid's voice? I don't get that part. Not that I have to haha but just FYI.
Until the eyes of a monster cross my path.
***You could edit "cross my path." to something else like "stare me down." or "stare my way."
My surroundings morph into a murky and haunted scene.
***Consider changing "murky and haunted" to "murky, haunted"
Those are all just my best attempts to give you any help/edits I can IF you're looking to update. If not, no problem. Really beautiful poem either way. Fun assignment too! I should try one of these sometime!
--Sean