Deviation Actions
Literature Text
We found the coconut man on Seven Mile Beach. His bag held dozens of coconuts, a machete and a bottle of rum. For five dollars each we drank island-made dark liquor and scraped our teeth against the flesh of our cups. Buzzed in the blazing mid-day sun, we sank into the sand and let the gentle swell wash over our toes.
The water was aquamarine and warm; the Caribbean Sea breathing a calm wind over the shore. For a while we just lay there breathing in the salty air, luxuriating in the heat, our bodies unceremoniously slack against the beach.
It was the changing tide that sobered us; sneaky little waves crawled up the shore tickling my skin in its wake. Our feet carried us up and down the coast, seashells finding their way into our pockets and the coconut man was never too far away for a refill.
We were hammock bound as the sun dipped low, our eyes hopelessly glued to a sunset that turned both sea and sky into fire. We slept well that night, our limbs heavy, our skin tan and our minds awash in all our new discoveries and yet completely at peace.
There was a catamaran ride through crystalline water and cotton candy clouds. A new world emerged painted in turquoise where nurse sharks roamed and moray eels slid through the reefs untouched. I was a mermaid slipping through the surf, passing schools of brightly colored fish, being amazed at the serenity I found below the ocean- how quiet it was down there- the only sound being my breathing and the trickle of bubbles as I exhaled. We saw a shallow shipwreck, a shell of a boat that lay in the sand like a pile of bones. I saw a forest of coral where jellyfish floated overhead like ghosts caught up in the current.
It was easy island living, laid back and carefree. It was seaside effervescence and nighttime bioluminescence, a place where water was sparkling sapphires and new friends had a never-ending supply of coconuts and booze. Paradise is what I called it, an expanse of white sand that was so soft… a place where sunlight danced across the cerulean and moonlight shimmered against the navy water of night.
I was water-logged but buoyant and bubbly; a little sunburned but never happier.
Depression Is
Users
blind
The picture prompt I choose is:
Word Count: 375
Want to know more about the contest? Check this:
Cicadas, Coconuts, and CommitmentsAuthors-Club proudly presents:
Cicadas, Coconuts, & Commitments III
It's that time of year when we bask in the warm summer sun, sip dainty drinks, and do the things we've waited months to do. I can almost smell summer! Can you hear the cicadas chirp? Lather yourself up with coconut butter and get your shades because you are about to join the Ho`olaule`a!
THE GARGANTUAN THREE: `Ekolu
Aloha! This is only the third contest ever hosted by this club. Consequently, this event will be the biggest we have had to date. Prepare to bring this contest to the next level.
If you are interested in donating features, points, critiques or anything to this contest, please comment below or note the club, Authors-Club or amour-raven.
"No Keia La, No Keia Po, A Mau Loa"
(From this day, from this night, forever more)
What are we asking you to do?
Select one of the six images
<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/p/o/p…" alt="" title="PoeticalCondition" /> critique:
I liked this story primarily because of its approach. I also liked this story because of how you adhered to the refrained imagery which tended to repeat itself by the fourth paragraph onward. With that said, the minimalism was also well handled because one did want to know more about the main character.
However, I felt it could be improved better - for a start, the opening wasn't completely fitting with the rest of the story (opinion) and the other friends of the author aren't given much attention and are treated as afterthoughts overall in this entry.
With that said, I think that the main character was well handled, and was a good character. Well written <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/t…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="262" title="Thumbs Up"/>