ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
As the story goes,
she stood there smiling
wiping the tears with her sleeve
I tried to scream, but couldn't
like something from a nightmare.
Slow motion sprints
just as she followed the light...
It must have been brilliant
beautiful sorrow I see
It must have been radiant...
Standing there alive
I just wept silently
she stood there smiling
wiping the tears with her sleeve
I tried to scream, but couldn't
like something from a nightmare.
Slow motion sprints
just as she followed the light...
It must have been brilliant
beautiful sorrow I see
It must have been radiant...
Standing there alive
I just wept silently
Literature
MegaMuscleGirl builds a treehouse
MegaMuscleGirl, Ann and Tom sat down for a minute, to find an activity they could all enjoy. “Do you like treehouses?” MegaMuscleGirl asked. “Of course!” Tom said. “But our parents never have time to help us build one.” MegaMuscleGirl jumped up. “No problem! I am very good at building. My mommy and me rebuilt our house in just a few hours last night. With my mega speed and mega strength, it is mega easy for me!” She marched over to a thick tree, wrapped her mega arms around it, and ripped it out of the ground. “Whoa,” Tom whispered. “I wish I could do that!” Even though he had spoken softly, the mega girl had heard him. “Oh, it’s easy,” she said, as she turned around. She waved the tree around as if it was a tiny twig. “All you need is mega muscles!” She put the tree on the ground, sank her hands into it, and tore it in two. “Well, that’s enough wood to build a treehouse. We only have to find a suitable tree.” Ann looked around. “That’s difficult. This is a big forest.” The mega
Literature
My Introduction
Hi everyone. its been nearly a YEAR since I joined DA. and I forgot to introduce myself. Well here goes: I am a young adult on the Autism spectrum. Im from Rhode Isand, and iam the very first Autistic member of the Rhode Island Honor Society. I'm studying to become a writer and author. My favorite things are Transformers, Godzilla, video games, WereWolves, Manga and Anime. I am currently working on a project about a female werewolf Named Nicolla. I want to Entertain people. I hope everyone enjoys them. My favorite fellow Deviantartists here are: TheSpeed0fLlight, Sabrinaxh, LoboLeo, and Heliotroph. They are my most favorites here. I hope everyone likes my intro.
Literature
Manifesto
Meditate Candle Room Dark My Expression I can't see What it is I don't know I can only make Educated guesses I know my face White I know my eyes Blue I know my hair Dark Blonde I know my eyebrows Furled I know that Because it is The other Place of Tension Besides my Grinding Teeth Mislead By him(his)self By Others By Normalcy Assumed Standard Presumptuous Vicarious Philosophy Indoctrinated By the Baseline By the Foundation It has no face Only faces that aren't it I realized Intersection Through Listening And Contemplation I Am Sorry That Me Being Sorry Is Worthless Because The Person I'd Apologize To Has No True Face Only Faces that aren't mine And Countless Of Them Are Already Dead Now All I Have Is White Leftist Existential Dread I Would Want To Move But Every Move I'd Make Every Step I'd Take Would Be Better served by Someone else I saw Dozens of me Falling Down Joker Fight Club Taxi Driver Raging Bull King of Comedy It is always the
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
Help, I'm alive.
Have you ever had a dream in which you tried to scream but couldn't?
What does this poem make you think of?
Metaphors or similies? Which do you prefer?
Have you ever had a dream in which you tried to scream but couldn't?
What does this poem make you think of?
Metaphors or similies? Which do you prefer?
© 2010 - 2024 prettyflour
Comments15
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
What I found most interesting about your poem is that you started talking about two different people. At first, there's a 'she' and then there's an 'I' and then in the end you bring those two people together. Both the first and third person view of the story converge into one.
It's certainly up to individual interpretation, but it's very common to disassociate one's self from trauma by making it about a different person. This poem could be about a girl who comes to terms with her traumatic past, and no longer has to separate herself from the memories (because of the way that 'I' takes the place of 'she' in the last stanza)
On a critical note: It's boring to talk about grammar, but the way you have the tenses arranged really threw me off in the first read through. The timeline in your poem starts talking about things that happened at a fixed point, then about things that were happening over a period of time in the past, then about things that are happening right now, and then back to the fixed point in the past ("stood there smiling" "must have been brilliant" and "brilliant sorrow I see") It's usually best to stick to simple timelines unless you have a reason to do otherwise.
To answer the question in your comments, I prefer metaphors. I think they're artists determined to draw an image in your head, as opposed to things like are merely like artists drawing an image in your head.
I hope you have a nice day and continue to write with all your heart and soul! ^.^ b